Romeo traffickers use romance as recruitment

Romeo traffickers lure vulnerable people into sexual exploitation or forced labor by using emotional manipulation, grooming and false promises of love or opportunity. Fraud examiners can strengthen their ability to detect and prevent exploitation by recognizing the tactics used to target and control individuals susceptible to human trafficking.

Fifteen-year-old “Kara” (a pseudonym) vividly recalls the moment everything changed: a fierce argument with her parents in North Carolina. “I had lost count of how many times I stormed out,” she says. This time, she boarded a bus to Atlanta, Georgia, and sat at a shelter, wondering where to stay. A man in his early 30s approached, offering food and a place to sleep. During the next week, he showered her with gifts and attention. “I felt special. I thought it was love,” Kara told Matt Friedman, international trafficking expert and CEO of the Mekong Club, following a speaking event at a nonprofit organization event in Atlanta.

What she thought was love was manipulation. The man, a Romeo trafficker, exploited her vulnerability as a runaway. One night, he and other traffickers took her phone and forced her into prostitution. Drugs numbed the pain as months of abuse followed until Kara escaped and found help at a nonprofit organization. “This type of exploitation is particularly harmful because it feels like a betrayal of trust,” Friedman says. “When someone they care about turns out to be exploiting them, the emotional pain can be overwhelming. This experience leaves deep scars that can affect their futures in many ways.”

Kara’s story is an example of a tactic predators use to exploit victims for sexual servitude or forced labor called Romeo trafficking, often referred to as loverboy/lovergirl trafficking. It involves criminals posing as romantic partners via social media and dating apps to groom, manipulate and lure victims online or in person — with promises of love, stability and lavish gifts — into a cycle of forced prostitution or to swindle them out of money. Romeo traffickers often use drugs to induce addiction, confiscate phones and identification documents, and move victims between hotels, selling them for sex multiple times daily. Friedman notes that this recruitment method predates organized crime in some regions. Although most victims are young women and girls, he says men can also be targets.

Victims are often held hostage and forced into prostitution, forced labor situations or scam centers in Southeast Asia, where they defraud others under threats of violence and torture. Accurate statistics are hard to obtain due to underreporting and misclassification, as victims often don’t realize they’re being trafficked by someone they trust. The International Labour Organization (ILO) estimates that 49.6 million people were held in slavery in 2022, including 27.6 million in forced labor and 4.9 million in forced prostitution.

Intimate partners or online manipulation are commonly the source of recruitment for many victims. According to the 2018 survey, Survivor Insights: The Role of Technology in Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking, the median age of sex trafficking victims is 14. Approximately 16% were trafficked before age 12. “For a long time, I did not realize that I was trafficked, I thought that because he gave me a choice to stay or go and I chose to stay, that it made it my fault and my responsibility,” one victim said in the report.

Unlike traditional forms of trafficking, such as drug smuggling, Romeo trafficking doesn’t involve the sale of inanimate goods. Instead, it revolves around the manipulation and coercion of human lives, subjecting victims to repeated abuse, sexual exploitation and fraud over extended periods. The evolution of technology has made it increasingly easier for traffickers to control and deceive victims through coercion and blackmail. Social media has made recruitment easier. Traffickers now operate from a single smartphone, using direct messages, encrypted apps, gaming chats (players texting or talking online with one another during games) and threats to control victims.

For fraud examiners, it’s crucial to understand the tactics employed by Romeo traffickers. Fraud examiners’ ability to recognize the specific methods used to target and exploit vulnerable individuals can enhance their financial fraud prevention strategies. Because Romeo trafficking extends beyond typical financial fraud investigations, understanding its methods and tactics can help investigators unravel complex schemes and achieve more effective outcomes.

Fraud examiners and investigators frequently uncover human trafficking because it’s a multibillion-dollar industry that depends on laundering illicit profits through legitimate financial systems. Trafficking often comes to light during investigations of other financial crimes through channels such as:

• Money laundering. This occurs through legitimate businesses or through structuring, such as frequent cash deposits just below reporting thresholds, to conceal illegal gains.
• Identity theft and “forced fraud.” Fraudsters often coerce victims into committing financial crimes, including identity theft and forced fraud, which entails traffickers forcing victims to open credit lines or take out loans in their names. Traffickers may also use victims as money mules to launder money.
• Payroll and benefit fraud or tax evasion. High-risk sectors such as agriculture, construction or cleaning services may exhibit signs of payroll and benefit fraud or tax evasion, with traffickers using victims’ identities to unlawfully claim social welfare benefits.
• Operational red flags. During due diligence or Know-Your-Customer (KYC) reviews, it may come to light that third parties are controlling a customer’s identity and financial documents or speaking on their behalf. Unusual spending behaviors, such as immediate salary withdrawals without regular expenses like groceries or rent, can also signal trafficking-related activity.

The psychology of exploitation

To lure victims into forced labor or prostitution, Romeos use emotional coercion to facilitate abuse and enslave their victims. This grooming process often involves the trafficker developing a relationship, a sense of trust and dependency in the victim. Once that bond exists, the trafficker can easily manipulate, exploit and abuse the victim. The process involves a series of psychological tactics, including:

• Targeting the vulnerable: Traffickers identify people lacking self-confidence, facing family discord or social misfortune, or experiencing economic hardship. They often approach potential victims via social media, dating apps or in public places, such as schools, malls or bus stops.
• Grooming and love bombing: These are classic strategies traffickers use to build trust with someone craving affection. The trafficker “love bombs” targets by feigning romantic interest, lavishing attention, gifts and promises of a shared future and improved life, fostering unhealthy dependence.
• Isolating victims: Once under their influence, traffickers cut victims off from friends and family, becoming their primary support.
• Coercing and exploiting: As traffickers establish control over their victims, they resort to threats, violence and blackmail, including threats against the victim’s family to force obedience. Victims may also be deceived into believing they’re repaying a debt or working toward a better future for the trafficker.

The traffickers speak

As a former journalist, I’d investigated the trafficking underworld in Asia for nearly two decades to write books and produce documentaries on the topic. “Guo” (a pseudonym), a former trafficker in Yunnan, China, admitted to me during our interview in 2013 in Kunming, China, that men deceive young victims and force them into prostitution. “They attract girls by becoming their boyfriends and promising marriage. The girls are seduced, but in reality, they are tricked into prostitution to generate income for the traffickers. These attractive men are essentially swindlers exploiting women,” he explains.

Guo confirmed that many victims were present in the hotel where our interview occurred, reflecting the widespread nature of the trade. In China, clients often connect with trafficked women via hotel-distributed flyers or cards promoting women’s services, which may be slipped under doors or offered as “massage” calls.

Guo’s cousin, “Wu” (a pseudonym), an active Romeo trafficker, embodies the bad-boy image in a stylish blue suit and gelled hair. I asked about his motivation in buying and selling girls. Wu said, “I am uneducated. Doing this is better than working for someone else. I only work from around 7 or 8 in the evening. If a client needs girls, I’ll bring them out. The rest of the time, I socialize — playing cards, chatting and enjoying leisure time.”

When I asked whether he cared about the girls’ suffering, Wu replied indifferently, “I believe they are quite happy because every 10 days or so, the girls go to karaoke to sing and dance. They seem to enjoy their lives. For us, it’s a hard life. Sometimes, customers scold us, and I suffer more than the girls.”

My interviews with Wu and Guo are also included in my 2021 memoir, “A Long Road to Justice: Stories from the Frontlines in Asia.”

Yunnan, China, part of the Golden Triangle, is notorious for organized trafficking networks operating along major highways. “Women are smuggled by car,” Guo explains. “In southern, eastern and western Yunnan, especially Huidu, numerous establishments serve as prostitution venues. Many hotels host women who drink, dance and have sex with clients.”

Behavioral and financial red flags

Identifying early warning signs is crucial for preventing Romeo trafficking. These signs include behavioral changes, social isolation and new possessions. Additional warning signs include:

• Intense, accelerated relationships: The individual is love bombed with excessive affection, flattery and declarations of love early in a relationship that progresses unusually fast.
• Secrecy and isolation: The person becomes secretive about activities, a new “boyfriend” or “friends,” and whereabouts. They may be secretive about what they do for work. The partner wants the victim to cut ties with friends and family.
• Personality shifts: They may appear unusually fearful, anxious, depressed or submissive, or seem disoriented and unaware of time and place. Others perceive they’re being controlled.
• Substance use: There might be new or increased use of drugs or alcohol, often provided by the trafficker to create dependency.
• New, older companions: The person suddenly spends time with a new friend or boyfriend who’s significantly older and whom they won't introduce to family.
• Control by another person: They may be constantly monitored or not allowed to speak for themselves, with a companion holding their identification information or controlling their finances.
• Absences: Skipping school, missing curfew or a decline in academic performance is common.
• Frequent movement: They may be moved frequently from hotel to hotel and might not know their current address or general location.
• Lack of personal items or money: They may lack personal possessions, identification or control over their own money.
• Physical health issues: Signs of physical abuse (bruises, burns, fractures), malnourishment, poor hygiene, exhaustion or untreated medical conditions (frequent sexually transmitted infections) may be present.
• Branding or tattoos: They may have new, unusual tattoos or branding marks (e.g., the word “Daddy” or “for sale”) that imply ownership.

Changes in behavior aren’t the only red flags to watch for. Financial institutions play a key role in spotting suspicious activity that may signal human trafficking, as well. Financial institutions can aid in disrupting human trafficking networks by recognizing these red flags:

• Inconsistent transactions: Activity that doesn’t align with a customer’s profile or business.
• Frequent cash deposits: Unexplained cash deposits without matching electronic payments.
• Prepaid cards: High-volume transactions using prepaid access cards.
• Debt and coercion: Victims are pressured to open accounts, take out loans or sign contracts while traffickers control all finances.
• Unusual wealth versus victim poverty: Traffickers flaunt luxury items without legitimate income; victims have no financial access.

The combination of manipulation, isolation and fear creates a web of control that makes escape and law enforcement intervention extremely difficult.

Trafficked into scam compounds

Traffickers increasingly use romance scams and fake job offers to defraud individuals and to lure young people to scam operations in Southeast Asia, preying on aspirations for better careers, adventure and love. Nineteen-year-old Huang met his 17-year-old girlfriend, Zhou, in southern China. She told him she was a wealthy heiress, media reports note. Zhou convinced him to fly to Bangkok, Thailand, for work at her family’s company. At the Thailand-Myanmar border, armed men seized Huang’s passport and phone. He managed to send an urgent message to his family before being taken to a scam compound in Myanmar. There, he was forced to work 16 to 20 hours a day, beaten for missing quotas and suffered permanent hearing damage. His family paid a ransom of 350,000 renminbi ($49,700) for his release. Zhou, arrested later, received 100,000 renminbi ($14,202) for trafficking Huang. “My brother, who was lovestruck, was completely brainwashed,” Huang’s sister said.

A man she met online manipulated 15-year-old Chinese high school student Xiao Wei, who believed she was traveling to Laos. Instead, she went to Cambodia, destined for a scam compound. Xiao met the man through a childhood friend employed at the China-Vietnam border in the Golden Triangle region. Despite being underage, the older man pursued her and initiated a romantic relationship. Her parents were working in another city, and Xiao yearned for love and attention. Xiao told a frontline worker, Ling Li, co-founder of anti-forced labor nonprofit EOS Collective and co-author of “Scam: Inside Southeast Asia’s Cybercrime Compounds,” that she fell deeply for the older man, and her so-called boyfriend persuaded her to meet in person.

Xiao was picked up in Nanning City, China, and illegally crossed the China-Vietnam border. A driver intervened and contacted a rescue team, saving her before entry. “When someone appeared who treated me so well, I couldn’t help but fall in love,” Xiao told Li who explains, “Emotional neglect and loneliness can be exploited by traffickers, especially in teenage girls.”

Romance-based recruitment has a severe psychological impact. Victims often perceive the relationship as consensual, lowering defenses. Li adds, “We’ve worked with minors trafficked into scam compounds. One girl was sold at 14 and rescued at 16. Post-rescue, what stood out was not only her trauma but how normalized violence had become. She even considered returning, as that seemed the only world she understood.”

“Pig butchering” scams are another major threat. The U.S. Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) estimates U.S. losses of at least $3 billion last year, according to the BBC. In a pig butchering scheme, criminals build trust with victims by spending weeks or months cultivating fake romantic relationships or friendships. They earn their target’s confidence, manipulate their emotions and swindle their finances with promises of guaranteed high returns. Southeast Asia has become a hub for these operations. In 2023, the United Nations reported over 200,000 people trafficked into Myanmar, Thailand, Laos and Cambodia under false promises of high-paying jobs.

Scammers increasingly blend romance with recruitment to make their schemes more convincing. They often employ young, attractive people to interact with potential job candidates. They use popular social media platforms and chat rooms commonly used by young people to orchestrate a casual friendship online, discussing job opportunities and sharing personal stories. Over days or weeks, they create a sense of camaraderie and connection, exactly the kind of grooming that appears in Romeo trafficking, where affection, attention and promises of a shared future lay the groundwork for exploitation.

During these online interactions, fraudsters often recruit their targets for specific jobs. They suggest that once the target comes on board, they’ll enjoy travel, career growth and even a potential romantic partnership. The pitch works because it appeals to companionship, belonging and upward mobility — the same vulnerabilities Romeo traffickers weaponize.

They reinforce the illusion with curated photos and videos of beautiful locations and “happy colleagues,” making the offer feel credible and aspirational. But these pathways often lead to sexual servitude, forced labor or placement in scam centers, where victims are controlled through isolation, confiscation of identification documents and psychological coercion.

The U.S. Federal Trade Commission offers practical steps that reduce risk in job scams and romance-driven recruitment:

• Do research. Look up the company name or the recruiter’s name along with terms like “scam,” “review” or “complaint.” If others report being misled or defrauded, that’s a clear warning sign. Also, lack of negative reviews doesn’t guarantee legitimacy.
• Get a second opinion. Share the job offer with others. Avoid reacting to artificial pressure or urgency.
• Never pay to get hired. Legitimate employers don’t ask applicants to pay for training, equipment, recruitment or placement. If someone demands money as part of the hiring process, it’s a scam.
• Don’t trust a “cleared” check. A credible employer will never mail a check with instructions to deposit it, then send part of the money elsewhere or buy gift cards. The check eventually bounces, leaving the victim responsible for repaying the bank.

Challenges for fraud examiners

“Jeffrey” (a pseudonym), a former trafficker in India, says prosecuting Romeo traffickers is extremely challenging. “From my experience, these traffickers play emotional games with women. Even if they’re brought to the police, it’s difficult to discern their criminal behavior. The police mistake them for lovers. It’s a trick to use these ladies and emotionally blackmail them. That’s why it becomes very difficult for police to catch these guys,” he explains. “They pretend to be lovers and literally brainwash these ladies to say so, that ‘Yes, we’re lovers.’ It’s a tricky game they play until reality comes when they’re sold. It’s too late to get out then.”

Investigating Romeo trafficking is complex because psychological manipulation makes victims reluctant to cooperate and hides financial exploitation. Early stages often look like a romantic relationship, so victims may not realize they’re being trafficked. This subtlety demands extra vigilance to spot patterns of coercion and fraud.

Gaining cooperation from victims is challenging in these cases because traffickers use romance, affection and false promises to groom victims, who often believe they’re in a loving relationship. This emotional bond makes victims unwilling to disclose abuse or identify themselves as victims. Many lie or confess to crimes to protect traffickers; they may remain silent out of fear and intimidation.

Additionally, fraud examiners track financial trails, but psychological manipulation in the form of threats, shaming and false promises are harder to document than physical force. Proving “force, fraud, or coercion” is complex when victims cover for perpetrators and form trauma bonds with traffickers. The phrase “force, fraud, or coercion” refers to the primary means by which human traffickers compel a person into commercial sex acts or labor against their will. It’s a core element in the legal definition of human trafficking under U.S. federal law, established by the Victims of Trafficking and Violence Protection Act of 2000. Traffickers force victims to open accounts, take out loans or commit forced fraud, which entails compelling victims to commit offenses such as identity theft, opening credit accounts under false pretenses, money laundering or acting as money mules using their own IDs. This blurs the line between victim and perpetrator, complicating investigations.

Traffickers thrive in obscuring financial trails, as well, by hiding profits through multiple accounts, shell companies, cryptocurrency and informal transfers. Victims often act as money mules (someone whose bank account is used by criminals to transfer money that came from victims of fraud) under duress, making it harder to trace funds to traffickers. Traffickers control victims’ money and IDs. Victims struggle to provide financial details that can impede investigations, unless approached with trauma-informed methods that prioritize victims’ emotional and physical safety within a supportive environment. This can enhance cooperation and reduces the risk of harm through repeat traumatization and triggers. For example, if a victim is touched without permission or warning, it may cause a fight‑or‑flight response, which can unintentionally disrupt the investigation and impede progress.

Further hindering the investigation of Romeo traffickers is a lack of resources and training for law enforcement and fraud examiners. Misunderstanding the psychological dynamics of Romeo trafficking can lead to misinterpreting victim behavior and missing red flags. Misconceptions, such as believing trafficking involves only kidnapping or foreign nationals, prevent recognition of domestic Romeo trafficking. Victims may be misidentified as criminals for drug use or other acts that traffickers forced them into.

Fraud examiners face major challenges investigating human trafficking tied to Southeast Asian scam compounds, as well. These crimes involve transnational networks, advanced technology, systemic corruption and complex victim identification. Scam operations thrive in remote regions or Special Economic Zones near borders (Myanmar, Laos, Cambodia), exploiting weak governance. Criminals relocate quickly to evade law enforcement, complicating cross-border investigations. Determining where criminals have moved the money is no small undertaking. Cryptocurrency, online gambling platforms, underground banking and shell companies further obscure money flows. Transactions often appear routine and bypass automated risk screening.

Some criminal groups use technology to expand their operations rapidly. They use artificial intelligence (AI) to create convincing fake job ads and romance profiles. Severe violence, debt bondage and threats deter victims from cooperating in an investigation. Survivor safety and recovery must come first, but that often delays investigations.

Additionally, law enforcement may prosecute or deport victims, misclassifying them as criminals or immigration offenders. Many agencies lack effective identification protocols. Despite regional efforts by INTERPOL and UNODC, weak enforcement treaties and inconsistent national responses hinder progress. In some places, corrupt local officials may protect traffickers, tip them off to raids or accept bribes.

Emotional support networks matter

Thwarting Romeo trafficking and romance scams requires a comprehensive approach that encompasses prevention, community intervention and legal action. Educating children and teens about online safety, grooming tactics and healthy relationships is critical. Encouraging reporting of suspicious behavior and training law enforcement to identify Romeo traffickers using undercover decoy operations can improve detection.

“If I had love in my life back then, none of this would have happened,” Kara says of her trafficking experience that has left lasting scars. Her response underscores the importance of emotional support and strong family, social and community ties. Programs that build trust, provide mentorship and connect at-risk individuals to resources are vital.

Governments must strengthen collaboration among stakeholders, secure funding and deploy advanced technology to disrupt traffickers who operate via smartphones, social media and online chat rooms. Fraud examiners have a role to play in identifying how Romeo traffickers target and exploit vulnerable individuals. Understanding their tactics strengthens financial fraud prevention efforts and enables investigators to untangle sophisticated schemes more effectively.

Sylvia Yu Friedman is the author of “A Long Road to Justice,” the first comprehensive book on modern slavery across Asia. She’s also an inspirational speaker, sought-after book coach and adviser in private equity. Contact her at sylvia@epictalesmedia.com.